All About You Is (Not Really) Over (Yet)

Berawal dari tahun 2008, stagnan di tahun 2010.
Muncul lagi di tahun 2010 akhir sampe 2011 awal.
'Till I decided to end it. But what happened then?
It is still here, up 'till now.
I thought that I could forget you.
I thought that someday, I will look into your eyes, then say that we're just friend.
But, the time hasn't come yet. I still can't.
Your eyes are my biggest weakness.
I though I have forgot about you.
But when I looked into your eyes, It was still there.
I realized that the feeling was still in my heart.
No matter how I try hard to vanish it, It always stand still there.

Till tonight, I found a quote by Mother Teresa.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” 

You did hurt me. Many times. I did cry a lot because of you.
But right now? Not anymore.
Not to mention that you have stopped hurting me. You still.
But It doesn't hurt anymore.
Maybe I have been immune? Or, It has become anesthesia for me? Or both?
What I know right now, no matter how hurt it is, I can't keep on crying.
Or should I say that it has become something I used to (?)
But I know exactly that the feeling is still there.
It keeps changing shape (?)
I think it equates pain pattern that you give to me.

Been a long time since i talked about love, isn't it?

Kalo diliat-liat dari entri blog ini sih, terakhir gue nulis tentang love di title: "All About You Is Over", which is 2 years ago.
Iya, gue udah ngeakhirin semua tentang lo kan ya pas itu.
Gue juga sempet punya hubungan sama orang lain.
But, it didn't work out well, same with the ending with you, but different case.
Pokoknya kata-kata yg gue ucapin ke orang itu pas itu, "Aku kira kamu bisa bikin aku ngelupain orang yg udah aku sayang bertahun-tahun itu. tapi ternyata..."
See? Masih-elo-dibawa-bawa. should I say that...
"All About You Is (Not Really) Over (Yet)"

Selain sama orang itu, gue juga sempet deket sama beberapa orang lainnya.
Yah, maklum ya jangka waktunya 2 tahun..
Tapi ya gitu, nothing seems to be worked out.
Simply say, gue nyaman sama mereka, tapi ga senyaman kalo sama lo.
Gue ada perasaan sama mereka, tapi ga sekuat perasaan gue ke lo.
Temen-temen deket gue aja pada heran, deket sama beberapa orang gitu, tapi ga ada yg jadi pacar.
Bahkan, mereka bilang gue heartless.
Iya, gue juga ngerasa. hatinya udah lo ambil sih. hahaha.
Suka sama orang sih gampang, kalo sekedar suka doang..
Tapi punya perasaan ke orang lain sedalem perasaan gue ke lo itu yg jadi beban.